Sorry for my behaviour :'(

Hurm.. suddenly i fell not to good.. maybe ive done something wrong....

So this post is to say im sorry for the things that i had done.. or maybe without noticing that i did..

maybe i being too emo at times... i sort of cant control it.. maklum lahhh.. manusia

anyways... through this post.. i want to apologise for everything ive did wrong.. ever since we met... until this day...

this is my error... im not a perfect human.. nobody is perfect after all...

so i really need you to understand me.. okayy?

i hope when you read this short post, ull understand ;)

Muhasabah Cinta

Whooo.... Lately i've been selecting songs for me to sing.. Surely I'll sing a simple yet meaningful song... so... i searched for a song that would be lovely, simple yet very meaningful :)

Okay.. so the song is Muhasabah Cinta a song by EdCoustic... And here is the lyrics:

Wahai... Pemilik nyawaku
Betapa lemah diriku ini
Berat ujian dariMu
Kupasrahkan semua padaMu

Tuhan... Baru ku sadar
Indah nikmat sehat itu
Tak pandai aku bersyukur
Kini kuharapkan cintaMu

Kata-kata cinta terucap indah
Mengalun berzikir di kidung doaku
Sakit yang kurasa biar jadi penawar dosaku
Butir-butir cinta air mataku
Teringat semua yang Kau beri untukku
Ampuni khilaf dan salah selama ini
Ya ilahi....
Muhasabah cintaku...

Tuhan... Kuatkan aku
Lindungiku dari putus asa
Jika ku harus mati
Pertemukan aku denganMu

If we hear this song and swim deep into its lyric... its so soo meaningful.. i can say the rythm is some kinda sweet.. the first time I hear this song I thought its a love song about male and female... but after listening a couple of times.. my heart starts to feel so touched :')

Actually I want to include in my video... but then.. i feel too embarassed to do so.. hahaha... forget bout it... main thing is.. let us relate this love song with ordinary love song.. its a big difference! :P

Why cant we be this romantic to Allah? He gave us a lot of things and blessed us with love... and never for Him to betray our love!

To say that we love Allah is very easy.. but to prove our love is the part where people mostly fails! So let us together 'muhasabah cinta kita kepada-Nya'

Nevertheless.. I dedicated this special song to my special friend :) I hope you'll love it ;)

I was thinking of including the video of the song but unfortunately i dont have it :'(

still youll be able to hear it... :)

Killing Feeling

How should I even start this? My mood? Im not sure whether im happy or sad.. but this feeling I have right now is totally killing me... Its happy to see what is in front of me.. but it hurts to see what happened on my back.. after looking at it.. its like I was bombarded right on the face.. I was too confident at first.. but it seems that the confidence i have in this case... its not that helping.. How i wish i have the answer.. though i didnt expect to the extend that i actually want. but if i know the answer just a little... it may help me to wait till one point.. the exact point so i can proceed to win the match and be the one to get it.. though its not even a game.. still... this is more to a challenge of life.. another point of life that changes a lot of things..

But why should i suffer so bad this way? i tried so hard to not be demoralized by that.. but even the people who "watch" the game seems to see it at the point where the competitor is in an advantage.. that particular competitor seems to be having not just 1.. BUT!! it seems that he have 4 major advantages that is an impossible for me to have such advantages... though the potential of winning seems to be with me.. the advantages makes him closer to winning... i wont give up! though several times i may be feeling like so.. and i iadmit that this could make me cry my eyes out to win this thing... Ive never be so obsessed to win such match but ive lost once and it really makes me really really SAD!!! ive been suffering this ever since i started it.. even people seems to be seeing me losing though they didnt say it directly.. some dont even notice i was struggling through... THANKS A LOT MR.COMPETITOR.... i think you blew me and make me look so SMALL and makes you look BIG!!! but in a way u are big.. i feel threatened like hell of a threat..

i tried to look at it in a positive manner.. still.. makes me feel terrified.. i can say that if i were to compare the "possession", it is that guy who dominates it.. more to like 65%-35%.... well.. my friends are with me.. even they realize that my current post was threatened,... but i keep it cool.. smile to the opponent.. as if i am not threatened.. but deep inside.. i wish he was dead.. oppss.. sorry.... not dead.. maybe that guy could back up or stop competing... but this guy was the major competitor.. the minor competitor might also suddenly be the winner... im glad that im still standing with some progress.. and the progress seems to be kinda positive... by the time im in my degree.. I PRAY TO ALLAH!! may i win this and may i be getting the best of my fight.. and having the winning of life.. once and for all,,,,

Mock Trial Wa Ghairuha :)

Jabir-Abdullah(JAY),Khadijah the awesome sister n Norela Ahmat AWESOMEST MOM!

With Bismillah I start this post...

Alhamdulillah.. Mock Trial: Jelita is over.. and not just an ordinary over.. Jelita was a HIT! It is LEGENDARY!!!! Im not saying this because im one of the actor.. but this is from the feedback from the awesomest FRIENDS and also other people who watch this Mock Trial. Thanks for watching everybody! :)

First of all.. It has been 2 month of practice of JELITA... and yes.. it is tiring yet AWESOME.. we all have been "torchered" by our Director.. ha ha.. but its cool for me because he got the VISION on where and how he want the Mock Trial to work... I dont have any idea on what to say.. so i just tell a story based on pictures.. and maybe some videos

Ouch! THAT is going to HURT!

Haa... Terkejut ke? well.. he dont get slapped for anything.. he asked daus to slap him to get his FEEL... so now u see how hard we worked for this.. or lets say that.. IT HURTS! ha ha ha.. But I think the hard work pays off at the end of the day.. we had a lot of fun.. THANK YOU MOCK TRIAL CREW!!! And special thanks to Zaqquan as the PM.. without him.. theres no JELITA.. and of course.. Tasmina Binti Hishamuddin!!! such a g
reat actress.. she made me cry :') she was MIND BLASTING! happy to have you as a friend Amalina! YOU ARE AWESOME!!

Before AND After GAY!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Not to worry im not a real gay or any other name for it.. ha ha ha.. but ill say that acting like one is a reaaaaaaal hard work.. they say i look pretty! ha ha ha!! i don't know how to respond.. should i be happy or angry? i don't wanna look gay! but its hard not to be happy.. ha ha ha.. orang puji kot! kalah pompuan tu haa.... oyehh.. CHOOOOOIIIII!!!!! :P

Siapa Lagi Cantik? Ha ha ha!!

this picture was taken after the show.. and i was shocked to see such embarassing picture.. ha ha.. a second i think for myself.. do I really look THAT GAY????? hahaha... oh yess.. i hate to see myself in the video during mock trial.. that is soo soooooo GAY!*kutuk diri sendiri gila-gila*
this is the picture of me n Fatin Nabilah :) muka yang sangat girlish VS a real girl :P

My Picture with my beloved mother and sister :)*kak paan also in the pic!*

Much Much Much Much LOVE to Ummi n dijah because both of you came and support me :')
and tonnes of sorry for Dzar n Afnan because i didnt get to buy you guys the ticket.. but if i get the videos... i promise ill give it :) and also Kak Paan!! Thanks for coming! glad to have a senior like u in AIKOL :)

Lastly.. Praise to ALLAH for making our day such a happy day! wherever we go.. I know u'll always be with us! :) :) :) :) :)

I'LL BE MISSING ALL THE PEOPLE WHO CONTRIBUTED FOR JELITA VER MUCH!!!

And special thanks to Zatie Razak who borrowes me the BB for the internet! :) such a great friend i have here in IIUM :)

Awal Muharram

Salam Ma'al HIjrah. Moga kita boleh cuba berusaha untuk berubah untuk menjadi insan yang lebih baik :)

walaupun pada dasarnya kita seharusnya muhasabah diri kita dan cuba untuk menjadi yang lebih baik setiap hari... Imam Ghazali pernah mengatakan bahawasanya, hari ini perlu menjadi lebih baik dari semalam dan hari esok perlu lebih baik dari hari ini, jika hari ini lebih teruk dari semalam maka celakalah orang itu O,o.. maka sesungguhnya kita tidak mahu menjadi golongan yang celaka :O

Lagipun kita harus sedar bahawasanya Allah tidak akan mengubah sesebuah kaum itu melainkan kita berusaha untuk mengubah diri kita sendiri :D

Jadi harap-harap la kita dapat berusaha dan berazam untuk tahun baru ini, kita dapat realisasikan dan berubah menjadi insan yang mengabdikan diri kepada Allah S.W.T dan menyumbang sesuatu kepada perkembangan Islam dan kepada Dunia ini sendiri :D

Wallahu a'lam :)